Bullying at work
I had a whole schedule of posts to go up over the past couple of days but I've been absolutely blindsided by a really low mood, as a result of being bullied at work.
I haven't been enjoying work for a long time. Even though I'm no longer at uni I've been telling them that I am so that they can't put me on any extra shifts. I only work Friday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays. My boss is the reason behind so many of my other colleagues leaving, she's nasty, condescending, and has no regard for other peoples feelings when she's shouting at you because you've not done your job to her expectations. Unfortunately, the big bosses love her because she's bloody good at her job and spends a ridiculous amount of time at work, even sleeping over if she's working a late and a morning back to back.
I've never been her biggest fan but we were civil, we got on for the sake of work. I let her get on with the way she spoke to me, never being bothered to rise to it. I've never really fit in at work, I never made real friends there and that used to be okay because I worked purely for the people I looked after, I was good at my job and passionate about it.
The office staff hated me for only working weekends, declined my holiday requests, and told me if I called in sick again they'd take it to management.
Over the months I noticed patterns of behaviour which confirmed to me that they all bitched about me behind my back, and one of my team leaders started pulling me to the side at the start of every shift to say "Shannon can you make sure you do this and this tonight." (knowing damn well I do everything I need to do, to a good standard).
This weekend it got to the point my team leaders were following me into all my calls to make comments about everything I did, telling me off for things my other colleagues and themselves never even do. They were picking on me for everything, in front of the tenants which was rude and unprofessional as it was.
They made me feel like I was rubbish at my job, and when I'm already in the middle of a life crisis because I don't feel like this is my calling in life anymore, it has really emotionally effected me. Being bullied as an adult is somehow so much worse than being bullied at school, because, for me at least, my job has always been a huge part of who I am as a person, so when that's not going great, I'm not doing great.
I had big breakdown at work on Sunday night, exhausted from my 15 hour shifts I walked into a tenant's flat to put her to bed and just burst into tears. It's effected my personal life so deeply I've barely been sleeping (despite being on tablets that help me sleep), been moody and out of it when it comes to my relationship, and the past two days I've noticed my hair falling out again.
Unfortunately, being an adult, I rely on an income. I've felt stuck in a situation where I've been trapped in this job until I get a new one.
I've been applying to jobs since January.
I've had no luck.
But with the state I've gotten myself in after this past weekend, I'd reached my last straw. I'm handing in my notice this week and printing out my CV tomorrow to hand out everywhere. I'm lucky enough to just have enough money to scrape me through if I can get a job in the next month or two. I'm also lucky that we're reaching Christmas temp season!
There's not really much purpose to this post, I just wanted to get put my feelings down in writing and I like to keep my blog updated with my life, I wish I could have made it some kind of advice post for when bullying at work does occur but in all honesty I don't know what to say, because a lot of the time it's not as easy as speaking up and reporting it. So I guess I'm just spreading awareness, and hoping anyone else suffering from the same thing has the courage to leave or change their situation.
All the best,
Shan x
I haven't been enjoying work for a long time. Even though I'm no longer at uni I've been telling them that I am so that they can't put me on any extra shifts. I only work Friday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays. My boss is the reason behind so many of my other colleagues leaving, she's nasty, condescending, and has no regard for other peoples feelings when she's shouting at you because you've not done your job to her expectations. Unfortunately, the big bosses love her because she's bloody good at her job and spends a ridiculous amount of time at work, even sleeping over if she's working a late and a morning back to back.
I've never been her biggest fan but we were civil, we got on for the sake of work. I let her get on with the way she spoke to me, never being bothered to rise to it. I've never really fit in at work, I never made real friends there and that used to be okay because I worked purely for the people I looked after, I was good at my job and passionate about it.
The office staff hated me for only working weekends, declined my holiday requests, and told me if I called in sick again they'd take it to management.
Over the months I noticed patterns of behaviour which confirmed to me that they all bitched about me behind my back, and one of my team leaders started pulling me to the side at the start of every shift to say "Shannon can you make sure you do this and this tonight." (knowing damn well I do everything I need to do, to a good standard).
This weekend it got to the point my team leaders were following me into all my calls to make comments about everything I did, telling me off for things my other colleagues and themselves never even do. They were picking on me for everything, in front of the tenants which was rude and unprofessional as it was.
They made me feel like I was rubbish at my job, and when I'm already in the middle of a life crisis because I don't feel like this is my calling in life anymore, it has really emotionally effected me. Being bullied as an adult is somehow so much worse than being bullied at school, because, for me at least, my job has always been a huge part of who I am as a person, so when that's not going great, I'm not doing great.
I had big breakdown at work on Sunday night, exhausted from my 15 hour shifts I walked into a tenant's flat to put her to bed and just burst into tears. It's effected my personal life so deeply I've barely been sleeping (despite being on tablets that help me sleep), been moody and out of it when it comes to my relationship, and the past two days I've noticed my hair falling out again.
Unfortunately, being an adult, I rely on an income. I've felt stuck in a situation where I've been trapped in this job until I get a new one.
I've been applying to jobs since January.
I've had no luck.
But with the state I've gotten myself in after this past weekend, I'd reached my last straw. I'm handing in my notice this week and printing out my CV tomorrow to hand out everywhere. I'm lucky enough to just have enough money to scrape me through if I can get a job in the next month or two. I'm also lucky that we're reaching Christmas temp season!
There's not really much purpose to this post, I just wanted to get put my feelings down in writing and I like to keep my blog updated with my life, I wish I could have made it some kind of advice post for when bullying at work does occur but in all honesty I don't know what to say, because a lot of the time it's not as easy as speaking up and reporting it. So I guess I'm just spreading awareness, and hoping anyone else suffering from the same thing has the courage to leave or change their situation.
All the best,
Shan x
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