floating in the clouds

Everyone seems to have this perception that, your mental breakdown ends and then you just start building your life back up again. I had that perception. I thought, I have my new job, my amazing friends, and a new found self love in myself. I can start building my life up again. I can build on what I've done so far and work on getting myself back to normal. I'm coming to the realisation it's not quite that simple. I've gone straight into a full time job after barely working for a whole year, and I thought it would be fine. But I didn't realise that actually, I've been quite ill, and like any other illness, going straight into a strenuous full time job is going to take a toll on your body after having so much time off. It's been a shock to the system and my head is exhausted from all the new stuff that's been thrown at it and the constant non existence of my comfort zone as I push myself everyday to get back to everyday life. That then lead me...

I feel as though I'm really neglecting my blog at the moment, I've been so consumed by my new job I haven't been thinking of posts to write, I haven't had that "I could make this into blog post" mindset and my blog has, in turn, took a backseat in my mind. Today's post however is being brought to you because I've had an odd sort of few weeks. I've been experiencing intense anxiety resulting in me dropping off the face of the planet, ghosting my friends, and being confined to my bedroom whenever I'm not working.  I wouldn't say I feel particularly out of control of my mental health, however decided that today I would make a trip to the doctors and see what they thought. And here I am now making this post. The most important goal for me this year is to fall back in love with life, to gain my life back, and work wholly on myself. I had a goal to come off of my antidepressants this year, and after today I had to a bit of a kick in the t...

Happy first day of 2020. This year is a big year for me, it's a year of facing fears, setting and achieving goals, becoming my own person again and falling in love with the little things in life once more. I've mentioned so much that 2019 was tough. 2020 is the year I get myself back, heal from my mental breakdown, and become a brand new person. I love writing these posts, I've been doing them for years now. I start with going back at my goals I set at the start of 2019, evaluate how well I did with them, then set my new goals for the following year. One of my favourite posts of the year. Let's go! 1. "Get my damn tattoo!" I'd been so desperate to get my Peter Pan tattoo since I was 18 and finally legal. But something in me stopped me going. This year I definitely achieved that goal, and got a total of three tattoos. I spoke more about them in my previous post. 2. "To not give up" I was well and truly being defeated by my mental brea...