2015, You Taught Me...
The paragraphs underneath were written last week sometime and is waiting to be posted after I upload the post that should be going up today. But my USB isn't working -again. So I can't get my pictures up that I need for the post that should be going up today.
So instead I thought I'd share this one because I am rather itching to get it out.
Hopefully my USB will work tomorrow.
______________________________________________________________________________
This post is crying out for me to moan and cry at how a sh*t year this was but that's not what we're crying about today. Because in truth this year has been pretty semi decent. I mean I can't ignore the bad bit so let's rapidly get it out of the way.
I had a six month breakdown about my future and ended up spending four of those months locked in my bedroom seeing some very dark thoughts and visiting some places I never thought I'd see again.
There I said it.
But this year wasn't about the past six months. The first six months taught me so much that even when the last half turned upside down and fell down three flights of stairs, I still held onto the things I'd learnt during the good half.
The first half of the year was when I was in college. So let's talk about what that taught me first.
College, you surrounded me with some great people, you allowed me to truly understand people I wouldn't have looked twice at before, you taught me to that sometimes you need show your sass, and show people where your morals lie. You taught me perseverance, and that I can be a pain at times because I procrastinate too much. Oh you taught me something very important! Sometimes there are situations that scare the hell out of you, and when instead of running away, when you grit your teeth and get on with it, things aren't as bad as you once feared. And when you do make a huge mistake, that's not such a big deal either. Because we're all learning in life, and mistakes are way more common than getting it right the first time.
5 Seconds Of Summer, no this isn't going to be a cheesy fangirl talk. 5sos, you taught me how to find my music niche, by finding you, I found other music which resonated with me, I found a person within me crying out to listen to this music, to wear cooler clothes, to be a sassy confident woman. You sparked a person within me who I loved, who was confident and strong and powerful. And has hella good taste in music. I think, in a way, you taught me to love myself. Well, provoked me to.
My bestfriend, we are no longer friends, but I can't deny the things you have taught me this year. You have taken me on a journey I will forever be thankful for, you taught me to open up myself, to be confident with my body, that my clumsiness is not an annoyance, that I shouldn't care what people think. You taught me to live a little, and you gave me some memories and experiences that I'll never forget. You knocked down my walls.
My family, hasn't this been a rocky year for us all? You have taught me that things are definitely not given to you, that the years fly by, and that I need to make sure I'm not 50 years old and angry at myself because I wasted that whole decade trying to figure out my place in the world. You taught me to be my own critisiser, which is a dangerous thing for my mind, but can be used for great things. You taught me that I have to keep on trooping because that's just how life works, bad things happen, and what else can we do but walk on with our heads up? You taught me not to lose sight of my dreams.
Friends, you taught me confidence. You taught me the greatness that can come from coming out of my shell. You taught me that I love dancing, and laughing, and giving advice, and having my hair braided, and smiling -constant smiling. You pried me right out of my bubble and showed me that life is pretty good outside of it and I really needed that. Thank you.
Shannon. I taught myself that I really know nothing about me! I have 100 different personalities, 100 different interests, and sometimes (most the time) I can feel really small.
I taught me that I can be the person I want to be by simply just being that person. I don't need to change anything about myself, just so I can be who I want to be, I just had to open myself up to let the real me shine out. I taught myself (though still very much working on it) that true happiness must come from myself, not from other people. I'm the person who gets myself out of bed in the mornings and I'm the person responsible for the smile on my face.
So farewell 2015, you taught me a lot. I have been at my highest point of happiness and my lowest point of sadness, and I'm hoping that it has built me a foundation of strength to take me into 2016 where I'll start living for me. Not the future. Where my next life goal is to thrive not just survive.
Shaan x
So instead I thought I'd share this one because I am rather itching to get it out.
Hopefully my USB will work tomorrow.
______________________________________________________________________________
This post is crying out for me to moan and cry at how a sh*t year this was but that's not what we're crying about today. Because in truth this year has been pretty semi decent. I mean I can't ignore the bad bit so let's rapidly get it out of the way.
I had a six month breakdown about my future and ended up spending four of those months locked in my bedroom seeing some very dark thoughts and visiting some places I never thought I'd see again.
There I said it.
But this year wasn't about the past six months. The first six months taught me so much that even when the last half turned upside down and fell down three flights of stairs, I still held onto the things I'd learnt during the good half.
The first half of the year was when I was in college. So let's talk about what that taught me first.
College, you surrounded me with some great people, you allowed me to truly understand people I wouldn't have looked twice at before, you taught me to that sometimes you need show your sass, and show people where your morals lie. You taught me perseverance, and that I can be a pain at times because I procrastinate too much. Oh you taught me something very important! Sometimes there are situations that scare the hell out of you, and when instead of running away, when you grit your teeth and get on with it, things aren't as bad as you once feared. And when you do make a huge mistake, that's not such a big deal either. Because we're all learning in life, and mistakes are way more common than getting it right the first time.
5 Seconds Of Summer, no this isn't going to be a cheesy fangirl talk. 5sos, you taught me how to find my music niche, by finding you, I found other music which resonated with me, I found a person within me crying out to listen to this music, to wear cooler clothes, to be a sassy confident woman. You sparked a person within me who I loved, who was confident and strong and powerful. And has hella good taste in music. I think, in a way, you taught me to love myself. Well, provoked me to.
My bestfriend, we are no longer friends, but I can't deny the things you have taught me this year. You have taken me on a journey I will forever be thankful for, you taught me to open up myself, to be confident with my body, that my clumsiness is not an annoyance, that I shouldn't care what people think. You taught me to live a little, and you gave me some memories and experiences that I'll never forget. You knocked down my walls.
My family, hasn't this been a rocky year for us all? You have taught me that things are definitely not given to you, that the years fly by, and that I need to make sure I'm not 50 years old and angry at myself because I wasted that whole decade trying to figure out my place in the world. You taught me to be my own critisiser, which is a dangerous thing for my mind, but can be used for great things. You taught me that I have to keep on trooping because that's just how life works, bad things happen, and what else can we do but walk on with our heads up? You taught me not to lose sight of my dreams.
Friends, you taught me confidence. You taught me the greatness that can come from coming out of my shell. You taught me that I love dancing, and laughing, and giving advice, and having my hair braided, and smiling -constant smiling. You pried me right out of my bubble and showed me that life is pretty good outside of it and I really needed that. Thank you.
Shannon. I taught myself that I really know nothing about me! I have 100 different personalities, 100 different interests, and sometimes (most the time) I can feel really small.
I taught me that I can be the person I want to be by simply just being that person. I don't need to change anything about myself, just so I can be who I want to be, I just had to open myself up to let the real me shine out. I taught myself (though still very much working on it) that true happiness must come from myself, not from other people. I'm the person who gets myself out of bed in the mornings and I'm the person responsible for the smile on my face.
So farewell 2015, you taught me a lot. I have been at my highest point of happiness and my lowest point of sadness, and I'm hoping that it has built me a foundation of strength to take me into 2016 where I'll start living for me. Not the future. Where my next life goal is to thrive not just survive.
Shaan x
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