Blogmas Day 7: The Look What I Did List
I'm absolutely obsessed with twenty one pilots, I should probably chill out with how much I'm listening to them because I relate to every word and it probably isn't helping with this awful mood I've been in these past few days. My mood is a mixture of winter blues, which I get quite bad, and not leaving my room ever. Which I'm trying to change but it's so hard!
This post was only decided today because I was reading one of my favourite blogs and she did this, and she also recommended other people do it, and I think it would help my mood tremendously, so I'm going to do it too.
As 2015 draws to it's end, it's the time of year people are starting to reflect on everything they've done over the past 12 months (well, 11) and while the second half of the year was absolutely dreadful, the first half was one of the best times of my life, of course I can barely remember any of it now because I'm clouded with moodiness, but I want to talk about everything I achieved over this year, even though right now I feel like if I gave up nothing would happen because I have nothing to give up on, I know that I've done some good things this year, and while I may currently have taken three thousand steps backwards, nothing can take away what I have achieved. I think I've just repeated the same sentence three times using different words..
I have learnt to be more accepting with my emotions. I am someone who's go-to emotion is anger, not raging green Hulk anger, I just get really wound up over things and it gets to me so much I end up crying and holding onto this bottled up anger forever. I also took to heart everything people said of me. Now, in the past few months actually I've learnt this, I don't get angry anymore, I have learnt to let go of grudges, I don't seek people's approval, and every bitter tongue that is thrown at me I can turn into positivity and throw it back. I'm a calmer person and I care more about things.
I've come out of my shell so much, it was college that did this for me, while I'm still a very awkward child, I'm no longer the quiet girl who didn't utter a word around strangers. I still have a long way to go but I've done things this year, that last year scared little me wouldn't have dreamed of doing.
I've learnt what it really means to stand up for yourself, it's not about attacking someone for misjudging you, it's about proving that their opinion doesn't matter, it's about being a strong woman who has morals.
I learnt self respect, this year I became so content with myself that I my eyes were opened to things I'd done/let people people do to me in previous years. I let some hideous people take advantage of me because I thought it would earn their attention and I learnt that I didn't deserve their attention, because no one should want attention from those kind of people.
I've graduated college all on my own, I passed with flying colours and made some amazing friends, while I know it's not something I'll pursue in the future, I learnt a lot of things that will benefit me for the rest of my life. And I'm proud of myself for that.
I took up running and got fitter, I lost weight and became more toned, I was healthier, I love green tea, and peppermint tea, and all other teas, and I was more adventurous with healthy food.
I learnt how to use a washing machine, and a tumble dryer (although 7/10 times my clothes will still come out wet so maybe not), I learnt to iron clothes, I also did a lot of cooking, trying new things I've never cooked before and using my initiative to get it right.
I blogged a lot, I found a way to express my world, into the world, and it was almost therapeutic, it became a place for me to come to, every time something happens in life the first thing I think is "oh I can't wait to talk about this on my blog!" and I think it's nice to have that something extra in your life.
I started to write again! I've been writing my entire life, as a child I'd rewrite out my favourite books and create silly -now very embarrassing stories in my notebooks, and I never really stopped until the last few years of high school where my English teacher made me believe I wasn't good enough, and I stopped, but then I got an A in my English exam and my confidence was boosted once again.
I learnt to be my own person, I started to dress how I wanted, listen to who I wanted, I became the person I always wanted to be but never felt the courage to be. If anyone had told me last year that I'd wear lots of skirts and dresses and grown up clothes, but also a lot of edgy black clothes, I'd have sat in my jeans and hoodie and converse and shied away at the thought. I've grown into my own skin, and even though right now things are tough, I've really learnt valuable life lessons this year, I found happiness in myself. Until, of course, I had a four month meltdown about what to do with my future.
That's ten things, ten very important things I've come up with, that have shaped not just my year, but the person I am today. Coming to the end of the year, I hope that I can find the person I was earlier on in the year and stick to her like glue for the whole of 2016, and the rest of my life.
Shaan x
This post was only decided today because I was reading one of my favourite blogs and she did this, and she also recommended other people do it, and I think it would help my mood tremendously, so I'm going to do it too.
As 2015 draws to it's end, it's the time of year people are starting to reflect on everything they've done over the past 12 months (well, 11) and while the second half of the year was absolutely dreadful, the first half was one of the best times of my life, of course I can barely remember any of it now because I'm clouded with moodiness, but I want to talk about everything I achieved over this year, even though right now I feel like if I gave up nothing would happen because I have nothing to give up on, I know that I've done some good things this year, and while I may currently have taken three thousand steps backwards, nothing can take away what I have achieved. I think I've just repeated the same sentence three times using different words..
I have learnt to be more accepting with my emotions. I am someone who's go-to emotion is anger, not raging green Hulk anger, I just get really wound up over things and it gets to me so much I end up crying and holding onto this bottled up anger forever. I also took to heart everything people said of me. Now, in the past few months actually I've learnt this, I don't get angry anymore, I have learnt to let go of grudges, I don't seek people's approval, and every bitter tongue that is thrown at me I can turn into positivity and throw it back. I'm a calmer person and I care more about things.
I've come out of my shell so much, it was college that did this for me, while I'm still a very awkward child, I'm no longer the quiet girl who didn't utter a word around strangers. I still have a long way to go but I've done things this year, that last year scared little me wouldn't have dreamed of doing.
I've learnt what it really means to stand up for yourself, it's not about attacking someone for misjudging you, it's about proving that their opinion doesn't matter, it's about being a strong woman who has morals.
I learnt self respect, this year I became so content with myself that I my eyes were opened to things I'd done/let people people do to me in previous years. I let some hideous people take advantage of me because I thought it would earn their attention and I learnt that I didn't deserve their attention, because no one should want attention from those kind of people.
I've graduated college all on my own, I passed with flying colours and made some amazing friends, while I know it's not something I'll pursue in the future, I learnt a lot of things that will benefit me for the rest of my life. And I'm proud of myself for that.
I took up running and got fitter, I lost weight and became more toned, I was healthier, I love green tea, and peppermint tea, and all other teas, and I was more adventurous with healthy food.
I learnt how to use a washing machine, and a tumble dryer (although 7/10 times my clothes will still come out wet so maybe not), I learnt to iron clothes, I also did a lot of cooking, trying new things I've never cooked before and using my initiative to get it right.
I blogged a lot, I found a way to express my world, into the world, and it was almost therapeutic, it became a place for me to come to, every time something happens in life the first thing I think is "oh I can't wait to talk about this on my blog!" and I think it's nice to have that something extra in your life.
I started to write again! I've been writing my entire life, as a child I'd rewrite out my favourite books and create silly -now very embarrassing stories in my notebooks, and I never really stopped until the last few years of high school where my English teacher made me believe I wasn't good enough, and I stopped, but then I got an A in my English exam and my confidence was boosted once again.
I learnt to be my own person, I started to dress how I wanted, listen to who I wanted, I became the person I always wanted to be but never felt the courage to be. If anyone had told me last year that I'd wear lots of skirts and dresses and grown up clothes, but also a lot of edgy black clothes, I'd have sat in my jeans and hoodie and converse and shied away at the thought. I've grown into my own skin, and even though right now things are tough, I've really learnt valuable life lessons this year, I found happiness in myself. Until, of course, I had a four month meltdown about what to do with my future.
That's ten things, ten very important things I've come up with, that have shaped not just my year, but the person I am today. Coming to the end of the year, I hope that I can find the person I was earlier on in the year and stick to her like glue for the whole of 2016, and the rest of my life.
Shaan x
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