Blogmas Day 5: My birthday - what I learnt at 21
It was my twenty-second birthday yesterday. I'm 22. So much has happened this past year of being 21.
I was living away from home in a student accommodation, absolutely miserable at uni but determined that being a nurse was my future as I came in my 21st year. It's been such a valuable life lesson -the whole year of being 21, so I wanted to talk about some of the things I've learnt/experienced being in my early twenties. Without being too sentimental because I need to keep that for my end of year posts.
So being 21, it's a horrible age because you really are setting up your foundations for "who you want to be when you grow up", it feels like when you're 19 you can still be experimenting with what you like and don't like, you can party and be irresponsible and live off your parents and be a lot more chill. Your early twenties seem more rushed in the sense that there is added pressure to take up more responsibilities. It's okay to not know what you want to do, but frowned upon if you're not doing anything valuable with your time. Some people are getting married, having babies, getting promotions... it's so daunting.
It's another step up in a drastic age gap. We're too young for most things, desperately clinging onto a less complicated, younger life, yet too old us not to face the fact we have to start getting a grip on ourselves. But at the same time we're also somewhat really wanting to be grown up and having these babies and marriages and moving out of home.
I've learnt a lot about friendships this year. Growing older we start to outgrow friends who no longer hold the same values as you, and it's not a personal thing. Once you start growing into your own personality you realise some friends you've been friends with for years no longer jel with you. Or people grow into entirely different people, or become centered around things you have outgrown.
On the other hand, friendships have become a lot more distant now. We're all working, we're all building completely separate lives from each other. I don't get to hang out with my friends as and when I can anymore. It's more about schedules and putting dates into diaries. But it is a lot more fun. There are so many more coffee dates, or shopping trips, cocktail dates, or movie and wine nights. Plus girlfriend friendships seem to be on such a deeper level now.
I've learnt that yourself is such an important person to prioritise. People, jobs, and things, come and go in life. Especially in your early twenties while life is slotting into place around you. Getting to know yourself, loving yourself, and putting yourself first is so important. Yourself is the only median that will stay during the next few years, you can't be neglecting yourself to put effort into anything else that's not going to stick around.
I stopped chasing people. From the age of 19 I was constantly chasing and begging people to stay in my life (friends, boys, and family) because I was so desperate for any kind of connection with people. This goes hand in hand with loving yourself. I now feel completely content in myself that anyone that comes or goes is welcome to. As Lizzo put so perfectly "just walk your fine ass out the door".
You will change your career dream CONSTANTLY. This year I was training to be a nurse, quit and nearly reapplied to uni to study psychology, literature, or bio medical science. Then I was looking at wedding planner courses, and finally applied to both a pharmacy apprenticeship and a specsavers apprenticeship. Obviously I'm now working at specsavers, but all of those careers were all I could think about at certain points in the year. I've learnt to accept I'll never truly know what I want, and to just try a little bit of everything that takes my fancy and aim for something that leaves me feeling happy and fulfilled.
I learnt too ask for help. I mean this in every aspect. I stopped feeling guilty for asking someone to do something for me that I really needed help with. I stopped feeling anxious to ask work colleagues how to do something, and most importantly, I asked for help with my inner self. They all payed off. No-one bit my head off or disowned me for asking for help, and once I did it once, I did it again. And again. If you want something out of life you have to ask.
"Ask for help. Not because you are weak but because you want to remain strong."
This wasn't exactly a Christmas post, but I had to have a cute little birthday dedicated post. I could write forever on the many things I've learnt this year, but I don't want this to be too long, it's already 11pm also. Fitting blogging in around full time work is hard. Fitting anything around full time work is hard right now. I'll get used to it soon enough though!
Shan x
I was living away from home in a student accommodation, absolutely miserable at uni but determined that being a nurse was my future as I came in my 21st year. It's been such a valuable life lesson -the whole year of being 21, so I wanted to talk about some of the things I've learnt/experienced being in my early twenties. Without being too sentimental because I need to keep that for my end of year posts.
So being 21, it's a horrible age because you really are setting up your foundations for "who you want to be when you grow up", it feels like when you're 19 you can still be experimenting with what you like and don't like, you can party and be irresponsible and live off your parents and be a lot more chill. Your early twenties seem more rushed in the sense that there is added pressure to take up more responsibilities. It's okay to not know what you want to do, but frowned upon if you're not doing anything valuable with your time. Some people are getting married, having babies, getting promotions... it's so daunting.
It's another step up in a drastic age gap. We're too young for most things, desperately clinging onto a less complicated, younger life, yet too old us not to face the fact we have to start getting a grip on ourselves. But at the same time we're also somewhat really wanting to be grown up and having these babies and marriages and moving out of home.
I've learnt a lot about friendships this year. Growing older we start to outgrow friends who no longer hold the same values as you, and it's not a personal thing. Once you start growing into your own personality you realise some friends you've been friends with for years no longer jel with you. Or people grow into entirely different people, or become centered around things you have outgrown.
On the other hand, friendships have become a lot more distant now. We're all working, we're all building completely separate lives from each other. I don't get to hang out with my friends as and when I can anymore. It's more about schedules and putting dates into diaries. But it is a lot more fun. There are so many more coffee dates, or shopping trips, cocktail dates, or movie and wine nights. Plus girlfriend friendships seem to be on such a deeper level now.
I've learnt that yourself is such an important person to prioritise. People, jobs, and things, come and go in life. Especially in your early twenties while life is slotting into place around you. Getting to know yourself, loving yourself, and putting yourself first is so important. Yourself is the only median that will stay during the next few years, you can't be neglecting yourself to put effort into anything else that's not going to stick around.
I stopped chasing people. From the age of 19 I was constantly chasing and begging people to stay in my life (friends, boys, and family) because I was so desperate for any kind of connection with people. This goes hand in hand with loving yourself. I now feel completely content in myself that anyone that comes or goes is welcome to. As Lizzo put so perfectly "just walk your fine ass out the door".
You will change your career dream CONSTANTLY. This year I was training to be a nurse, quit and nearly reapplied to uni to study psychology, literature, or bio medical science. Then I was looking at wedding planner courses, and finally applied to both a pharmacy apprenticeship and a specsavers apprenticeship. Obviously I'm now working at specsavers, but all of those careers were all I could think about at certain points in the year. I've learnt to accept I'll never truly know what I want, and to just try a little bit of everything that takes my fancy and aim for something that leaves me feeling happy and fulfilled.
I learnt too ask for help. I mean this in every aspect. I stopped feeling guilty for asking someone to do something for me that I really needed help with. I stopped feeling anxious to ask work colleagues how to do something, and most importantly, I asked for help with my inner self. They all payed off. No-one bit my head off or disowned me for asking for help, and once I did it once, I did it again. And again. If you want something out of life you have to ask.
"Ask for help. Not because you are weak but because you want to remain strong."
This wasn't exactly a Christmas post, but I had to have a cute little birthday dedicated post. I could write forever on the many things I've learnt this year, but I don't want this to be too long, it's already 11pm also. Fitting blogging in around full time work is hard. Fitting anything around full time work is hard right now. I'll get used to it soon enough though!
Shan x
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