I had the world's most stressful day yesterday, when I woke up I had a little upset with my family, so feeling quite low I'd decided to stay in bed and watch the new Umbrella Academy series (OBSESSED BTW), I then had my apprenticeship mentor call me because she hadn't heard from me in months and I haven't handed any work in - which in the midst of a global pandemic, I had completely forgotten I was supposed to be doing work at home. So that really stressed me out and made me feel like I wasn't good enough for my job and that I fail at everything - you know, that wonderful way the mind works where it spirals mountains out of mole hills. I then had a harassment phone call from a debt I had completely forgotten about (more stress), and while I was on the brink of losing it all I then had a missed call from work because they want me to go back next week!!!
And everything collapsed onto me, stress has a funny thing of just happening all at once and crushing you until you succumb to it, which as a mental health sufferer, sends me into a depression spiral. All the fun.
But I knew there was nothing I could do to make all of this stress go away, unless I simply sat up, turned off my laptop, and addressed the situation. Which lead me to creating a little step by step process that completely turned my day around. I was so proud of what I'd done, because usually I would have let myself get consumed by the stress and procrastinate it so I could pretend it wasn't there - which ultimately leads to that niggling anxiety pulse at the back of your brain constantly. So I wouldn't have actually felt any better.
So, I thought I'd share my step by step guide on my blog for anyone else, or even myself when I need to come back to it.
1. So step one is just to take three deep breaths, calm yourself down, grab a cuppa, do something to take care of yourself.
Throw your hair up, say to yourself "right, now I'm going to sort myself out. I can and will overcome these stresses". Get yourself in a "it's time for business" mindset. Tell yourself you got this and that you're a strong, powerful badass.
Words carry a lot of meaning, the things you say to yourself and the way you talk to yourself changes your perspective entirely.
2. Step two is to grab a notepad and pen and write down your stresses. What's running through your mind? Write down everything you feel negative towards.
These are just a few of my stresses, in my proper list is a few more personal ones.
TIP: use a red pen to highlight your stresses. Our brains are wired to associate colours with certain things. Red is often associated with bad, no, or rejections (take answering the phone for example, we hang up using a red button)
3. Step three is to then delve deeper into your stresses, take each one and write out why it's stressing you out, how it's making you feel, the reality of that stress, whether it's avoidable or not... Just let out your emotions on that stress to get everything out of your system. It also helps you to see it clearer.
In this example I broke down my stress of going back to work. My personal one is obviously more detailed on how it made me feel.
TIP: Use an orange colour to highlight this step. The orange represents the stress getting lesser as opposed to the harsh red.
4. Step four is to then write a plan of action. What can you actually do to overcome these stresses? If they can't be solved, how can they be lessened? How can you set yourself up in the future to eventually lose that stress or stop it coming up again? If there is no solution, you can always talk to someone about the stress, family member/friend/boss/colleague or professionals can lesser the stress, just by having it off of your chest. And an outside perspective can also offer up a solution you didn't see.
Again, my personal list is a bit more detailed on how I can overcome my stresses.
TIP: Use a green colour this time to signify positivity and release of stress. Like a traffic light system, red means stop, orange is to get ready, or in this case assess the situation, and then green is to go, and overcome. I feel like once you get to green that's it, you move on from those stresses and continue to your destination. You don't think about that red traffic light once it's gone green, so let the stresses go and move on.
That concludes the steps! This really worked for me. Once I'd decided I was going to have my stressful moment, and then move on, I got up, phoned work and arranged my return date, went out to buy some new trousers for my return because lockdown has made me go up -TWO- sizes!!! And then did a healthy food shop, and spent today being motivated and putting in moves to get my life back on track.
I don't know if this guide is a thing that normal people do anyway, or if it is a concept created by someone else, so I apologise if it is someone else's idea. But it worked for me and I'm happy with the results!
Let me know if it helps anyone else too, or if you try it!
Shan x
These are just a few of my stresses, in my proper list is a few more personal ones.
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