Step-by-step guide for when stress swallows you whole

I had the world's most stressful day yesterday, when I woke up I had a little upset with my family, so feeling quite low I'd decided to stay in bed and watch the new Umbrella Academy series (OBSESSED BTW), I then had my apprenticeship mentor call me because she hadn't heard from me in months and I haven't handed any work in - which in the midst of a global pandemic, I had completely forgotten I was supposed to be doing work at home. So that really stressed me out and made me feel like I wasn't good enough for my job and that I fail at everything - you know, that wonderful way the mind works where it spirals mountains out of mole hills. I then had a harassment phone call from a debt I had completely forgotten about (more stress), and while I was on the brink of losing it all I then had a missed call from work because they want me to go back next week!!!And everything collapsed onto me, stress has a funny thing of just happening all at once and crushing you until yo…

Creating a list of comforts for bad days

I'm writing this post completely on a whim. I've just been sat in bed scrolling through my phone, wearing my boyfriend's hoodie, and I buried my face into its hood because it smells just like him and it gave me such an overwhelming feeling of comfort. And then, boom, this post idea sprang to mind. I wouldn't say I'm having a particularly bad day, but definitely not a good one either. It's just been one of those days where no matter how many times I get out of bed I seem to be drawn back to it after an hour or two. I'm feeling delicate today and in need of anything that gives me comfort, so I wrote down a list of things that give me comforts to share on this post today. 
Certain smells, fabrics, scents and tastes give you a sense of comfort and can transport you to a place much better than the one you're currently in. I use this technique a lot with disassociation, which is something I really struggle with (disassociation is where your mind becomes discon…

Six month mental health update

Hi. It's been a hooooot minute since I've posted. I'd decided not to pressure myself into posting during lockdown, I get most of my inspiration for posts by going out and living and then writing them out in coffee shops, so I took a relaxed approach with my blog vowing to only post if I had something to say. But I should know myself better by now, that when I stop writing I really stop writing and my blog has consequently ended up as far back and tucked away as my mind allows. I've also taken up a lot of new things whilst in quarantine so my mind has been occupied with multiple different things everyday. I even contemplated writing this blog off and creating a new one which was more focussed towards something, I often feel like this blog isn't really "anything" except a jumble of random thoughts I have at a current moment. But I try not to have that thought for too long.I'm going to have a proper sit down and think about what I want to do with my blog…

Black Lives Matter

Myself, as well as a huge portion of the world have been truly awoken to the black lives matter movement this past week.I've always been 'apart' of it, if you will.. always followed the news of black people being shot by police, sharing the news for exposure and appreciating black history month etc.  It has always broken and confused my heart that someone can look at another human being and notice that they are a different nationality. When I've only ever seen simply another person. I can't say I look at people with different coloured hair or eyes and felt a different way about them, and for me personally it works the same for people with different coloured skin. We are all people in my eyes. It really baffles me that there are people out there who see different. 
How can ethnicity, race, culture, skin colour, be used as a currency, measuring how much value you have as a person?
I've been hurting and I've been angry this past week. Trying to think of what to sa…

Mental Health Awareness: Let's talk Depression

It's mental health awareness week this week, and it's been a hot minute since I've posted on my blog. Quarantine isn't leaving much in the way of blog inspiration at the moment. I wanted to talk today about a side of depression a lot of people dismiss, or pretend doesn't exist. I see a lot of people talking about the feelings of depression and how it effects your life, but not much of the uncomfortable, dirty side of it. 
Depression is foul. It is dirty and messy and not at all glamorous. It is obviously different for different people but I want to talk about my experiences with it today. I'll add a quick trigger warning here, I talk about the dark side of depression and glaze over suicidal thoughts/feeling like giving up. I made myself sad when I wrote this, but that's probably because I'm writing from memory. If you could get triggered by this I suggest you don't read on.

Depression leaves me un-showered for up to three weeks. Wearing the same clothes …

April's monthly round up

And then suddenly it was May.

I thought I'd do a little goals update post today, it's already been 4 whole months since we were making resolutions in January and this year has panned out to be a little different than expected... April turned out to be a very welcome wake up call for me. I found I'd lost sight of a lot of my goals and got sucked into the "people pleaser" side of myself again. So after reaffirming my goals, teaching myself to be selfish again and opening up about things I've been dealing with privately for a very long time, I'm ready to have a look at my goals and start making some new smaller ones to achieve my overall bigger picture.
Going to add a quick trigger warning here, in my "become stronger" paragraph, I'm going to briefly talk about disordered eating and body issues, so skip that section if it could cause harm to you. Other than that, here's a review of my goals:

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So one of my goals this year was to wri…

Bored in quarantine? This is what I'm doing...

We made it through three weeks. And now we have another three weeks to make it through as well. I'm doing okay actually, it's been hard not seeing all my friends but phone calls and group chats have been really amazing also. The weather has been beautiful, I'm definitely well rested, been working on myself a lot, it's almost been great - considering the circumstances.  I wanted to write a post today on some things you can do to help pass the time, as we have had three weeks to exhaust all of our spring cleaning and Netflix binges and bread making. Now is where it starts getting really boring. So I've written a list of some big things to do and another one for some little boredom busters when you are actually bored off your tits and need something to do.
~ Photo taken from a walk the other day ~
- Make some life goals. I feel like being stuck inside seems to have made a lot of people realise how precious the outside world is and inspired people to want to really uti…