April's monthly round up
And then suddenly it was May.
I thought I'd do a little goals update post today, it's already been 4 whole months since we were making resolutions in January and this year has panned out to be a little different than expected... April turned out to be a very welcome wake up call for me. I found I'd lost sight of a lot of my goals and got sucked into the "people pleaser" side of myself again. So after reaffirming my goals, teaching myself to be selfish again and opening up about things I've been dealing with privately for a very long time, I'm ready to have a look at my goals and start making some new smaller ones to achieve my overall bigger picture.
Going to add a quick trigger warning here, in my "become stronger" paragraph, I'm going to briefly talk about disordered eating and body issues, so skip that section if it could cause harm to you. Other than that, here's a review of my goals:
Write more
So one of my goals this year was to write more, and I definitely have, I've not been as active as I'd have liked to on my blog but I'm still making content I'm proud of. I've also been really into poetry this year, or "artistic writing", I've been writing so much of it, every time I have a thought I've been turning it into this big piece of cryptic writing and I'm loving it.
Mental health
The biggest goal for me was my mental health, I wanted to be off of my anti depressants this year and just feel stable for the first time in a long time. As I stand right now, I feel comfortable with beginning to come off of them, obviously I'm going to have to wait for quarantine to lift so I can have a proper doctors visit but I'm feeling very steady within myself and I'm learning how to pull myself out of moods and look after myself when I am having a bad day.
Become stronger
I battled with my body image a lot last year, and this year too. I spoke out to my friends about my struggle with binge eating, skipping meals and over exercising. I've just come out of an 8 day binge streak, it's only been three days of no binging but for the first time ever I was fully aware of the fact I was binging massive amounts of food, where normally I kind of "shut off".
Saying that feels like a set back in my "strong body" goal, but I think being able to admit it and not feel the shame that comes with it so much is going to make it easier to eat cleaner. Especially with my gals group who are all on the same eating clean journey as me and keeping me motivated through the group chat.
But negativeness aside, I've been taking up running and doing so well! So I'm still making progress, running is the one thing I never got on with, so my lungs at least have got stronger.
Finances
I started this year in the worst financial state I've ever been in, to the point I wasn't sure I'd ever get my head above it all. I've managed to sort my bank and phone bill issues, and I'm actually going to sort my credit card debt today as well. I've also been making my wages last me the month, which I haven't been able to do since starting college in 2017. So that's something.
For May, I'd like to continue eating healthy, try my hardest not to binge, and improve my running.
I'm going to do the food shop in a bit and I've got some good meal plans for next week that I'm looking forward to, I also bought a DLSR finally which I'm SO happy about! So I'm hoping to learn a bit about how to use it well and take some really good photos this month.
Happy May (how is it nearly summer already)!
Shan x
I thought I'd do a little goals update post today, it's already been 4 whole months since we were making resolutions in January and this year has panned out to be a little different than expected... April turned out to be a very welcome wake up call for me. I found I'd lost sight of a lot of my goals and got sucked into the "people pleaser" side of myself again. So after reaffirming my goals, teaching myself to be selfish again and opening up about things I've been dealing with privately for a very long time, I'm ready to have a look at my goals and start making some new smaller ones to achieve my overall bigger picture.
Going to add a quick trigger warning here, in my "become stronger" paragraph, I'm going to briefly talk about disordered eating and body issues, so skip that section if it could cause harm to you. Other than that, here's a review of my goals:
Write more
So one of my goals this year was to write more, and I definitely have, I've not been as active as I'd have liked to on my blog but I'm still making content I'm proud of. I've also been really into poetry this year, or "artistic writing", I've been writing so much of it, every time I have a thought I've been turning it into this big piece of cryptic writing and I'm loving it.
Mental health
The biggest goal for me was my mental health, I wanted to be off of my anti depressants this year and just feel stable for the first time in a long time. As I stand right now, I feel comfortable with beginning to come off of them, obviously I'm going to have to wait for quarantine to lift so I can have a proper doctors visit but I'm feeling very steady within myself and I'm learning how to pull myself out of moods and look after myself when I am having a bad day.
Become stronger
I battled with my body image a lot last year, and this year too. I spoke out to my friends about my struggle with binge eating, skipping meals and over exercising. I've just come out of an 8 day binge streak, it's only been three days of no binging but for the first time ever I was fully aware of the fact I was binging massive amounts of food, where normally I kind of "shut off".
Saying that feels like a set back in my "strong body" goal, but I think being able to admit it and not feel the shame that comes with it so much is going to make it easier to eat cleaner. Especially with my gals group who are all on the same eating clean journey as me and keeping me motivated through the group chat.
But negativeness aside, I've been taking up running and doing so well! So I'm still making progress, running is the one thing I never got on with, so my lungs at least have got stronger.
Finances
I started this year in the worst financial state I've ever been in, to the point I wasn't sure I'd ever get my head above it all. I've managed to sort my bank and phone bill issues, and I'm actually going to sort my credit card debt today as well. I've also been making my wages last me the month, which I haven't been able to do since starting college in 2017. So that's something.
For May, I'd like to continue eating healthy, try my hardest not to binge, and improve my running.
I'm going to do the food shop in a bit and I've got some good meal plans for next week that I'm looking forward to, I also bought a DLSR finally which I'm SO happy about! So I'm hoping to learn a bit about how to use it well and take some really good photos this month.
Happy May (how is it nearly summer already)!
Shan x
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