Creating a list of comforts for bad days

I'm writing this post completely on a whim. I've just been sat in bed scrolling through my phone, wearing my boyfriend's hoodie, and I buried my face into its hood because it smells just like him and it gave me such an overwhelming feeling of comfort. And then, boom, this post idea sprang to mind. I wouldn't say I'm having a particularly bad day, but definitely not a good one either. It's just been one of those days where no matter how many times I get out of bed I seem to be drawn back to it after an hour or two. I'm feeling delicate today and in need of anything that gives me comfort, so I wrote down a list of things that give me comforts to share on this post today. 

Certain smells, fabrics, scents and tastes give you a sense of comfort and can transport you to a place much better than the one you're currently in. I use this technique a lot with disassociation, which is something I really struggle with (disassociation is where your mind becomes disconnected from your body, it feels to me like I'm floating in an empty space of my head un attached from anything around me, including my own emotions and thoughts). Using your senses can bring you out of your head and into the present moment. Sensory grounding is also used to calm a panic attack, which I'm sure plenty of people have heard of - the 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste technique. 

Sensory objects such as squishies or fidget spinners (to name the more well known ones) are also used for people with anxiety, ADHD, ADD and autism etc.

Comfort objects as a whole have always been very beneficial in alleviating stress, sadness and anxiety. Take babies and children for example, they use dummies, blankets and teddies as a comfort, and through life it can change to people, pets and comfort food, or even alcohol, nicotine and drugs.

Some days you just need all the comforts in the world, you just need to feel safe and secure and get lost in the smell of someone or something else that can take you to a much happier place. Comforts can be formed of anything, a belonging of someone close to you, someone's voice, a certain texture to touch, something visually aesthetic, something that sparks emotion in you, a film you loved as a child... anything can be a comfort. 

I've started a list today of things that bring comfort to me, it's going to help me a lot to look at when I'm feeling down because a lot of the time I actually forget to do something that would give me the comfort I need in that moment. So having something to look at is going to help encourage me to do something that would better take care of me.

The list alone is comforting to look at because just reading through a bunch of things that mean something to me, I can visualise the comfort and security they all give me alone. So, without further waffling, here is my list of comforts:

- Starting with the one that inspired this post, my boyfriend's jumper.

- A cup of tea. Either herbal or my current favourite, earl grey. Because it has bergamot in and bergamot aids happiness.

- Wrapping myself in a blanket. Sometimes walking around the house in it.

- A good cry. Crying releases so much with-held energy, and there's always a comforting feeling after crying it all out. I don't seem to be able to cry much though.

- A tea in the garden. Or being in the garden generally, I'm someone who connects a lot in nature and just feeling the sun on my face or a breeze in my hair with grass under my feet makes me feel so much better.

- Watching a film or TV show that has my favourite "ship" in. I'm also a hopeless romantic and love how much a good story line moves me. My favourite one possibly of all time (except from Peter Pan and Wendy) is Hayley and Elijah from The Originals. Watching my favourite "Ship" just tugs at my heart strings and sparks all my feelings, which then gives me comfort. 

- Following on from that, my favourite film/childhood film. Watching Peter Pan, has and always will be a massive comfort. My boyfriend bought it online for his PlayStation once just because I was feeling down and he knew it would make me feel better.

- Music that touches your soul, I don't just mean your favourite song (although that will still work I guess) but music that really hits you and makes you feel something. For me, it's Sleeping At Last, in particular his song Saturn. His music is just so beautiful and you can't not get all up in your feels when listening to it.

- Use crystals. I'm really into crystals and their properties, and always feel a sense of security when I hold one and carry it around with me. Certain ones are very good for balancing moods and helping with anxiety too.

- Hugs. Hugs are everything. Not just from significant people but holding a meaningful teddy or a blanket close to you can bring similar levels of comfort.

- Calls with loved ones. If they are not with you in person, just talking to someone or hearing their voice over the phone can alleviate sadness, anxiety and despair.

- Making a cuppa for someone else. Or something nice for someone that doesn't take up too much energy on a bad day. By doing something nice for someone you release the happy chemicals in your brain and can actually lessen your low mood by aiding someone else's.

- Creating visually aesthetic comfort. When having a bad day where I sit in bed all day I try to make it feel more cosy rather than a "depression pit" which it can often become. I do this by lighting candles and putting some fairy lights on, having my bed neat and comfortable. It's a low effort way of feeling more human, like having a "cosy day" rather than a "I'm too depressed to do anything day"

- PETS. Pets are amazing at knowing when you're down and giving you support. When I went through my breakup last year my cat followed me absolutely everywhere around the house, to the bathroom, to the kitchen, she slept with me... she became my own little shadow, until I felt a bit better.

- Take a few deep breaths. Just taking three longer inhales and exhales re-centres yourself and brings you back to reality, letting go of any tension in your jaw and shoulders it's really relaxing and I find it really comforting. 

- A hot water bottle/being warm. I'm known for being that person who is always cold, I'm always in jumpers and fluffy PJs just being wrapped up and warm and cosy is a physical way to keep me comfortable and content.

- Scent. A scented candle, room spray or diffuser, using calming, relaxing, or scents that you find comfort in is such a game changer. Our sense of smell is such an overlooked one, it can bring us to so many emotions and places. I find oil and car parts such a comforting smell because that's what my dad smelt of when he tucked me in to bed every night - which may not come in a scented candle flavour, but my point is smell can create feelings of comfort and security. And there are so many essential oils that can influence your feelings. So light a candle and relax.

That concludes my list, so far anyway. I think this exercise (of writing down your comforts) is going to help a lot with low moods or feelings of anxiety, and helps figure out things you didn't realise you gained feelings of security from. If you give it a go let me know how it turns out, I'd love to know if it works for anyone else.

Aside from that, I hope everyone is doing well and keeping safe.

Shan x