8 Mental health goals for 2020

I feel as though I'm really neglecting my blog at the moment, I've been so consumed by my new job I haven't been thinking of posts to write, I haven't had that "I could make this into blog post" mindset and my blog has, in turn, took a backseat in my mind.

Today's post however is being brought to you because I've had an odd sort of few weeks. I've been experiencing intense anxiety resulting in me dropping off the face of the planet, ghosting my friends, and being confined to my bedroom whenever I'm not working. 

I wouldn't say I feel particularly out of control of my mental health, however decided that today I would make a trip to the doctors and see what they thought.

And here I am now making this post. The most important goal for me this year is to fall back in love with life, to gain my life back, and work wholly on myself. I had a goal to come off of my antidepressants this year, and after today I had to a bit of a kick in the teeth in realising it's going to take longer than I thought.

My doctor told me my ptsd is acting up, actually upped my dosage (temporarily thank goodness) and told me to refer myself for counselling. Wasn't quite what I was expecting at the start of 2020. But instead of letting it get me down, I'm refusing to succumb to my mental health, and am on here today, to talk about the goals I'm setting to ensure I get off of my antidepressants by the end of the year.

1. Go to counselling. 

While counselling feels like a step backwards right now, I know that doing it will help me learn coping mechanisms, how to order my thoughts, and get my feelings out in the open.

2. Stop binging.

I've been on a binge frenzy again the past few days. Work isn't helping because I just want to devour the entire kitchen when I get home from work. I need to research into more satiating foods and distract myself from the need to eat constantly. Because binging always comes from a toxic mindset and leaves me feeling dirty and down. I might do a future post on how I combat this.

3. Stop counting calories.

A complete opposite side of the scale from binging, I get myself very worked up at the moment at how many calories are in each meal, which is odd because I've never been one to seriously obsess over calories like I am now. So I plan to completely ignore calories and eat intuitively. 

4. Stop procrastinating.

I am the absolute queen of procrastination and I don't say that to be quirky or trendy. It's an awful trait to have and it gets me into some absolutely horrid and stressful situations. Procrastination is one of the biggest factors into contributing towards mental health, how can your mind be organised if the physical aspects of your life are a mess and pushed to the side and left to the last minute? 

5. Have morning and night routines. 

I absolutely love my little skin care night routine and seem to have fallen off the bandwagon with it, that along with waking up late in the mornings, being lazy and getting to work late. I need to have more discipline in my mornings and nights. I love having 'me time' in the evenings before bed, which makes for good mental health, and obviously having stress free mornings make for better mental health also. 

6. To relax and stop being so rigid to change. 

I need to come to the terms with the fact it's not going to be smooth sailing. Just because I said I'm going to be happy this year, doesn't mean I'm not going to need my dosage upped just two weeks into the new year. I need to let things happen and stop getting so riled up when things aren't going absolutely 100% the way I planned them to. Because it actually never does, and ends up being another avoidable factor for bringing me down.  

7. Remember that I am in control of anything and everything that comes into my life. 

This is a big one for me, I have this overwhelming feeling that I have to do what everyone asks of me, and most of the time I want to. But sometimes I find myself working myself up doing something that gives me intense anxiety, and for what? If I don't want that something, I have every right to abolish it. Sometimes I forget that I am in charge of what I influence or surround myself with. 

8. Stop disappearing and ghosting.

I feel so much guilt when I have my phases of dropping off the face of the planet and I honestly have no idea why people stick around though it all, but I do know some good eggs so... 

This year I'm going to work hard at not shutting people out, or at least explaining I'm not in a good place. It's unfair of me to just stop talking to people randomly leaving them wondering what's going on. Especially when everyone I know is so amazing at understanding me. Sometimes mental health can just make you a lonely person, it's not a personal thing. 

So those are a few of my mental health goals I'm hoping to accomplish this year in the hopes I can eventually come off of my antidepressants. There's nothing wrong at all with being on antidepressants, but I've been using them for a year and three months now. I would just like to find a version of myself where I can rely on natural happiness again.

Shan x