Blogmas Day 16: Finding Out The Truth About The Man With The White Beard

I can't describe how terrified I am that a little girl or boy is going to somehow read this post and it that it's going to ruin their life. So if you are under the age of 11, I feel like 11 is a reasonable age, then do not read on, every piece of magic inside you will disappear if you do. You have been warned.

I'm excited to write this one, it's fun. I want to start by saying I don't think I ever really believed Santa was real, but I'll talk about why after I tell my story.
As children we were always told that if we weren't asleep by 12am, which is when Santa would be at our house, that we would be classed as naughty children and Santa would leave, without giving us our presents. This was my parents strategy into getting us to sleep on Christmas eve.
However one particular Christmas eve, I think I was 6 years old, but I could be wrong.. I just could not get to sleep and I was so scared that Santa wouldn't come, I went into my parent's room to ask them to help me get to sleep but they weren't in bed so I thought oh it can't be that late then and that they would still be downstairs. So I went downstairs to ask them to help me fall asleep. Let me point out that I had truly mastered the art of sneaking downstairs so I could watch TV through the crack in the door late at night. I was a naughty child.
So, I'd come downstairs without being noticed, and I happened to accidentally walk straight into a last minute present wrapping extravaganza. I checked the time instantly to see it was 2am, and the tree was bare, all I could see was a very tired, worn out mother wrapping presents on the floor as quick as she could.
My mum looked up at me and her face was that oh shit, I've just ruined my child's life face and said "I didn't hear you come down how long have you been down here!?"
My reaction to that? I laughed.. I was giggly and shy and told my mum I couldn't sleep.
I wasn't upset, or distraught, I laughed. 

Which years later, I realised, it was because I never believed in him.
I would constantly challenge my mum, as to how he came into our house because we didn't have a chimney, how he knew about tooth fairy dust to get in through the window, and that if Santa could get hold of tooth fairy dust, so could burglars..
And there was also this one time when I was four years old and saw lots of Barbie dolls in carrier bags before my mum had hidden them.. and before I got loads of Barbie dolls for Christmas.
Even when she would take us shopping and say that she needs to buy our presents to give to Santa.
I always thought I believed, but deep down, I don't think I ever did truly believe it..

I didn't tell my sister the truth, I acted completely normal the next day, constantly giving my mum little smirks because I felt like I had just been given all the wisdom of the world. I don't remember how my sister found out, but it as a few years later.


And while we're at it, I want to talk about how I found out the tooth fairy was fake too. One of my teeth had fallen out -after many more had previously, so I had my time of belief. It was a Saturday morning and I'd completely forgotten that there should be a pound coin hiding under my pillow. Until my mum came in jingling something in her hand, I didn't think anything of it, and then she put her hand under my pillow and asked if the tooth fairy had come in the night. I got very excited at my sudden remembrance and flipped up my pillow to have a look. And instead of a pound coin, there were two 50p's, and it instantly clicked that she had come into my room jingling the two coins together.
And again, I laughed.


Shaan x

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